Shave Your Legs

Seriously. It's summer. Just shave them. Unless you're politically against that kind of thing, in which case, hope you're blonde and fine haired. Alternatively, hope you find an organic loving Portlander or something.

Wearing pants in January and staying in is a great excuse to leave furry gams alone. However, if wearing shorts in June and spending time with friends, chances are someone is going to touch your legs. When the cute Buddy Holly look alike has had two glasses of wine in the hotel room and touches your legs, you probably don't want the "cactus" feel. It kind of kills the mood.

When sitting on the bus next to the potential love of your life, and he looks down to see black hairs sticking out of your knees, he'll get off at the next stop (and not in a good way).

Unless he's weird. In which case, Treffen Sie die Wahl.

Bridget

Don't be a Hussy.

This piece of advice comes from my friend, Helena*. I met her in my classes. She's a non traditional student, so she's older than most of my classmates, and has a husband and two adorable children.

Here's her advice.

"My advice might be a little old fashioned in the eyes of 20-somethings, but sex with my hubby is 5 million times more meaningful and fulfillling than the few times I had sex before I met him. I regret ever sleeping with anyone and wished I could have taken it back. So I think people should wait to have sex and base their relationships on friendship, companionship, common interests, etc."

Helena is right. Her advice is pretty old fashioned, but there is definitely something there. If it's consensual and both parties just want a temporary whoo-hoo, then go for it. But some people throw their bodies around for a lot of terrible reasons. Girls will sleep with guys just to keep them. Guys will sleep with women just for fun. There's no regard for the emotional component of sex. Humans are mammals, but most people aren't programmed to mate, then move on.

I guess my interpretation of Helena's advice is this:

Don't give it up so easily.

Why not actually enjoy spending time with the people? Another quote from Helena:

"You can have a smokin' hot love life, but if you don't like hanging around with them, you're not going to have a happy relationship."

Helena is a smart lady. She's young enough to still be in touch with my generation. She also wasn't a chaste angel before she was married, which makes her opinion even more valuable to the likes of me. She's lived through some of the things I'm going through right now, navigating the minefield of dating, sex, and relationships. I'll keep that one on the back burner for a while.

Until next time,

Bridget

*Name changed

Be Prepared

I recently went on a trip. As I was packing, my roommate offered me a condom to stick in my purse. Though I knew there would be very little possibility for sex on the trip, I took her up on the offer. I stuck the glow in the dark condom in my purse, and laughed.

After laughing, I realized my roommate was right. It is much better to be safe than sorry. No one wants to be caught with their pants around their ankles unprotected. If I hadn't taken that condom with me on the trip, I might have been faced with a very uncomfortable decision. If I had gotten an offer I would have had to choose between risking STD's and pregnancy, or saying no. Now, I probably would not have given anyone the brush off. Then I would have had to spend money on Plan B, waste a whole day of my trip being sick, and spend the rest of the trip and the next few weeks waiting for my period.

Why would I put myself through all of that when I could just stick a little piece of rubber in my purse? There really is no excuse for being unprepared in a situation like that. It's a simple matter of making sure there is a condom in your purse, or backpack, or duffel bag, just not the wallet.

And to be honest, knowing that I was prepared for any outcome made me more relaxed. I flirted a little more effortlessly. It was almost as good for my 'game' as wearing sexy underwear, but that's another blog.

Bridget

My first piece of advice?

Do not date men with bigger boobs than you.

Many women aren't interested in men that are shorter than them. Some women won't date anyone who weighs less than them. This is understandable. Sometimes it can be hard to feel secure when you're a taller or larger woman relying on someone scrawny to protect you. That being said, the short and skinny are not my "do not cross" lines. But boobs are a literal do not cross line. Boobs get in the way. I don't want to get that first kiss, and realize our lips can't reach because his man-boobs are blocking my way to his lips.

Here's the thing though. Be willing to look past the rest of it. If I see a skinny man with gorgeous eyes and a great butt, I can't immediately pass him over. If I see a guy who has a giant, funny shaped nose, but he has amazing abs, I'm still willing to get to know him. Yes, physical intimacy is important, and being physically attracted to your partner is essential for that intimacy. But you can't lock out every potential partner just because he or she isn't you physical ideal. Most people have some attractive features. So my second piece of advice is this:

Don't be a shallow twat.

Know what you like in your partner. Know what you can't get past in a partner. Don't lower your standards, but open up your options.

Until next time,

Bridget